• Hello Guest, we are proud to now have our Wiki online that is completely compiled and written by our members. Feel free to browse our Jeep-CJ Wiki or click on any orange keyword when looking at posts in the forum.
    To dismiss this notice
    click the top right X.

RedNeck Church

RedNeck Church

2BAD4U

Senior Jeeper
Posts
502
Media
13
Thanks
0
Location
North Haven, CT
Vehicle(s)
68 Jeepster Commando, 05 Sportsman 700, JD X320
1. You know you're in a Redneck Church if.... the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.
2. You know you're in a Redneck Church if... people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
3. You know you're in a Redneck Church if... when the pastor says, 'I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering,' five guys and two women stand up.
4. You know you're in a Redneck Church if... opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
5. You know you're in a Redneck Church if... a member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because 'It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of.'
6. You know you're in a Redneck Church if.... the choir is known as the 'OK Chorale.'
7. You know you're in a Redneck Church if... in a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven different last names in the church directory.
8. You know you're in a Redneck Church if... people think 'rapture' is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
9. You know you're in a Redneck Church if... the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized ' Wheeling ' washtub.
10. You know you're in a Redneck Church if.... the choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.
11. You know you're in a Redneck Church if... the collection plates are really hubcaps from a'56 Chevy.
12. You know you're in a Redneck Church if... instead of a bell; you are called to service by a duck call.
13. You know you're in a Redneck Church if... the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
14. You know you're in a Redneck Church if... the communion wine is Boone's Farm 'Tickled Pink.'
15. You know you're in a Redneck Church if... 'Thou shall not covet' applies to huntin' dogs, too.
16. You know you're in a Redneck Church if... the final words of the benediction are, 'Y'all come back now, ya heah.'
God Bless and don't Y'all fergit ta say yer prayers!!! :notworthy:
 
Nah couldn't have been the same one you forgot:
17. You know you're in a Redneck Church if... There are holes cut in the floor to spit your tobacco threw.
 
Nah couldn't have been the same one you forgot:
17. You know you're in a Redneck Church if... There are holes cut in the floor to spit your tobacco threw.
:confused: I thought they passed the spittoon....Awww....:dung:....No wonder they were so mad!! :(
 

Jeep-CJ Donation Drive

Help support Jeep-CJ.com by making a contribution.

Help support Jeep-CJ.com by making a contribution.
Goal
$200.00
Earned
$0.00
This donation drive ends in
0 hours, 0 minutes, 0 seconds
  0.0%
Back
Top Bottom