Help for the women folk.

[Petescj]

Help For the women wolk. Only Cause I care.




SPRING CLASSES FOR WOMEN AT THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Friday, June 5th, 2009

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE Limited TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.


Class 1
Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM..

Class 2
Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?--Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM

Class 6
How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT!
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to Shop by Yourself.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering To Take a List To The Store, Avoiding Separate Trips for Each Item Needed.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours...

Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.


Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Send this to all your guy friends for the best chuckle of their day . . . and to all your gal friends " who have a sense of humor ". . .
_________________
Is Alive

 

[CJ]

Umm... Nice knowing ya Pete! (I love it) Susie? Care to chime in here?

 

[coldwater]

BAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
I just shared this with my wife, and was shamlessly called an arsehole! Some of those are classic!

 

[Petescj]

Just my way of helping. There are a few on there that just killed me.

 

[elwood blues]

I'm actually afraid to "share" these with my wife, I enjoy my place in the bed WAY to much!!!

 

[jeeper1]

that's as hilairous as some of the stuff larry the cable guy comes up with

 

[susie]

Umm... Nice knowing ya Pete!(I love it) Susie? Care to chime in here?

First, thats funny. Second, I never had to take classes.

I was raised to know how to please. He sets the thermostat, I only have 1 shampoo, 1 conditioner, and 1 body wash in the shower. I do have others available if need be, which were bought on sale. I hate shopping. Period. I cant stand it. I could do without it if someone would do it for me. I live with 2 guys, I know to check the toilet seat. I do carry a big purse, but its not over flowing.

I am not a typical woman. And I cant tell the differences here because CJ told me to keep it clean.


I dont understand how or why some women would need those classes. They wouldnt if they paid a bit more attention to their men...

 

[BrockGrimes]

A new class has been added to the schedule:

Class 2A
Marriage the equal partnership - He puts the seat up, you put the seat down.
Visual presentation followed by OJT in the lab.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.


I showed it to my wife, she also isn't like most women.
We just bought her a '06 Rubicon unlimited, she'll probably show up on this board soon, LOL, in the other catagory.

Just an update from the wife:
"You're an <-BAD WORD->, but thank you for fessing up that I'm not a typical woman." LOL

 

[mylittlecj5]

Mine sure isn't like most womenfolk...
She loves the old stuff (hates new cars as much as I do)
doesn't really go for the housewife thing (but normally keeps the house in shape)
Doesn't care if the seat is up, she knows to check it regardless...
helps me in the garage as long as she can stand me yelling at her, then leaves...but still checks to see that things are OK once in a while (I think at times she's hoping a truck will have fallen on me....)
Blah blah blah

 

[shamrock]

I dont understand how or why some women would need those classes. They wouldnt if they paid a bit more attention to their men...

Oh yeah...right...like thats ever going to happen.

 

[susie]

Sham, I love you! You are so wonderful!




Now, please be quiet before I get mad and wish bad things against your computer...

 

[dalefan88]

i need to show mrsdalefan this.