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Political Humor

Political Humor
Whenever anyone wants to prove that millions of Americans are either dumb or just plain nuts, they mention that 12% of the population is convinced that a badly scarred James Dean is living as a hermit and a 450-pound Elvis Presley is working at a 7/11 outside Nashville. I say that doesn't prove anything beyond wishful thinking. A far more convincing case can be made by pointing out that even now 40% of Americans believe that Barack Obama is doing a bang-up job. In a saner world, it's Obama who would be a hermit or working at a 7/11 in Chicago."
--columnist Burt Prelutsky
 
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"Meanwhile, an aimless depression from the tropics stalled in Washington, D.C. But enough about Barack Obama, let's talk about Hurricane Irene."
--Wall Street Journal columnist James Taranto
 
"New statistics show the U.S. economy added zero jobs in August. The White House cautioned Americans not to read too much into those numbers. What numbers?" --comedian Jay Leno

"President Obama's uncle Omar vowed to call the White House after he was arrested for drunken driving last Sunday near Boston. You have to feel for the poor guy. He's sitting in jail and the only guy he can call for bail money is fourteen trillion dollars in debt." --comedian Argus Hamilton

"Maybe Obama was not even the person he was waiting for." --New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd
 
"Has Obama ever grown even a potted plant, much less a business, a bank, a hospital or any of the numerous other institutions whose decisions he wants to control and override?" --economist Thomas Sowell

"Obama is like the guy in the bar who says, 'I'll stand drinks for everyone in the house,' and then adds, 'Those guys over there are going to pay for them.'" --political analyst Michael Barone:booze:

"L.A. is considering a ban on both plastic AND paper grocery bags. Fine. If I ever go shopping in L.A., my bags will be made from the fur of animals I killed myself." --former Senator Fred Thompson:shooter:

"President Obama's speechwriter Jon Lovett resigned to pursue what he called a more fulfilling life in Los Angeles writing comedy. He helped write the stimulus bill, the health care law and the president's jobs plan. His work as a comedy writer in Washington is done." --comedian Argus Hamilton:laugh:

"Government statistics show the U.S. economy created zero jobs in August. President Obama now says he's confident this month he can double that." --comedian Jay Leno:poke:
 
Obama's "New" stimulus plan

Greetings,

There is hope after all. Your federal government is at work and here is your anouncement detailing what is in store. I feel better already.

Just wanted to let you know - today I received my 2011 Obama Stimulus Package.

It contained two watermelon seeds, cornbread mix, a prayer rug, a 10% discount membership to the AFL-CIO, and 10 coupons to KFC. The directions were in Spanish.


Hope you get yours soon.
 

What Is Politics? A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"
Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."
The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."
The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep poo."
 
I love Christmas lights. They remind me of the people who voted for Obama.



They all hang together; half of them don't work, and the ones that do, aren't that bright.
 
2012 Campaign poster
 
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