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You know you own a CJ when...

You know you own a CJ when...
jdcaples said:
If the senior monarch is female, it's "Queen's English."

The dictionary's right: they are the same.

-Jon
Click to expand...


When 15 my family moved to England. It took me a little time and embarrassment to learn the “Queens” English. I was traveling up to Wales with a Boy Scout troop when we stopped at a roadside cafeteria for lunch. The eating area was large with tables scattered around and while waiting in line I noticed a group of German Boy Scouts across the room. “Look”, I said, “German Scouts”. “Where”, said another? “Over there, in the knickers”, I replied. As soon as those words left my mouth everyone around me, and not just my Scout Troop, suddenly turned and stared in complete silence. The Scoutmaster moved over, put his arm around me, leaned in and said in a low voice, “Those Scouts are wearing knickerbockers, knickers are ladies underwear”. “Oh”, I said. :notworthy:
 
When only YOU, know the right "combination" to get it cranked...
 
You know you own a CJ when you have to stop yourself from using a stream garden hose water to correct some kid 25% of your age when he walks by your driveway, and shouts, "Dad! I want a Reeennneegade Wraaaangler like this!"

If his father hadn't had 5 or 6 inches of height and about 100 lbs advantage, I might have drenched the kid.

-Jon
 
Hedgehog said:
JD - or you don't even bother with the screw driver and cut the darned thing off with a dremel tool.

Here's one:
When: the PO replaced his heater hoses enough to wear out the clamp, but insisted on using it one more time...
Click to expand...

yall must have some in good shape to use a dremel
thinking corded Dewalt angle grinder with extra cut off blades
 
When the same people ask so often that you have to actually start a "will call" list - in case you ever decide to sell...
 
You come to the realization that parts are become less available than ever before.... Especially made in USA parts thanks to outsourcing and other short sighted practices. :censored:
 
...when you install a mod that hundreds of others have done... and feel so elated that you post incessantly on the forums about it


That's me, but I'm working on it (the incessant posts, that is)
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=_FA85RO89HA

A different ripoff of the Sam the Sham & the Pharaohs tune "Little Red Riding Hood" (with some poetic license) :rolleyes:


Owwwwwooooooo
What's that I see callin' in these woods?
Why, it's Little Red Bar Pit
Hey there Little Red Bar Pit,
you sure are givin' me a fit,
You're everything my friends warned me about.
Listen to me.
Little Red Bar Pit
I don't think little big holes should
be snaggin’ my Jeep in these big bad woods all alone
Owwwwwooooooo
What big ruts you have,
the kind of ruts that drives Jeepers mad
Just to see that I don't get out,
You’ve got the slickest mud, I’ve no doubt
What slick gook you have
It’s sure to drive a Jeeper mad
So until I get winched from this place,
I’m gonna curse and wail all over the place.
I’m gonna keep my coveralls on
Until I’m sure that I can get gone
Owwwwwooooooo
Little Red Bar pit
I’d like to winch out if I could,
But my remote’s at home, and the damn handle broke so I won’t
Owooooo!
What a big, tow bill I’ll have-the better to put me in debt.
Little Red Bar Pit,
Even the farm jack’s bent for good.
I’m sure you’re satisfied, I see five more rigs stuck like mine.
Will I hike, to my girlfriend’s place, this bear chasin’ me, we’re in a race...
{feet don’t fail me now}
Little Red Bar Pit,
you sure are givin' me a fit,
You're everything my friends warned me about.
Owwwwwooooooo, I mean whaaaaa! Whaa?
85RO89HA
 
...and some Murphy's Laws I've been collecting over the years (maybe this should be a Thread all its own)

1. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
2. It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools (and P.O.s) are so ingenious.
3. At the exact moment that your Jeep insurance lapses, the probability of being involved in a trail accident increases exponentially.
4. Any given mechanical job you decide to solve alone will imminently require a third hand, at its most critical moment.
5. It will already be raining, by the time you decide to stop to put the soft top back on your Jeep. .... and the sun will come out five minutes later. When you dry out after driving through some rain, it will start raining again just when you begin to feel comfortable.
6. Trying to wipe a big bug splatter off your windshield with your wipers will result in a greater mess because Jeep windshield washer fluid bottle senses when bug season is. If you only hit one bug, it will be in your line of vision.
7. We cannot accurately judge the trajectory of a speeding critter (cat, dog, sasquatch)
8. Record heat waves and floods only occur when we visit that area
 
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You know you own a CJ when your coworkers - at first politely, then :eek: adamantly - refuse a ride to lunch.
 
:laugh:
 
The ladies won't even try since they have to climb in by stepping on the sliders..,,, In heels. I had to help my boss out of it one day. Not graceful. Never again.


Dain
 
Back story: you privately mock a new pickup driver who's engine cooling system bled out in a 7/11 parking lot, where he first blamed your Jeep for lofting the aroma of anti-freeze into an otherwise perfect morning's air.

You know you own a CJ when you're compelled to replace your PO's water pump on the chance you took on some bad karma for privately mocking some poor guy who was obviously just having some bad luck or he was the victim of a really cruel joke.

You also know you own a CJ when you're relieved that your Jeep's entire cooling system is PO-free; in mid-July where we're having unseasonably warm weather and you've passed several beaters, in as many days, fuming at the side of the road while puzzled drivers stare at the plumes, mesmerized, like deer into a spot light.

-Jon
 
gr8dain said:
The ladies won't even try since they have to climb in by stepping on the sliders..,,, In heels.


Dain
Click to expand...

I'm slightly offended by that sexist remark, Dain ;-) . You'd be surprised what all a determined Lady can do in 4" stilettos...
 
Is that not the reason that YouTube exists?
 
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